Regret has a first cousin.

Hey Reader,

Yesterday, we talked about sitting in the sting of a decision's aftermath. I ended that note with a reminder: trust the decision you made in the light, even when the aftermath feels heavy in the dark.

When you sit in that heavy space for too long, you realize that regret has a first cousin.

That cousin is shame.

Regret says, "I wish I had made a different choice." Shame whispers, "You should have known better, and you're a failure because you didn't."

If we aren't careful, the darkness is where shame lives, and it's where regret continues to thrive. We hold ourselves to impossible standards, replaying scenarios with information we simply didn't have at the time.

I ran across that clip recently, and it hit me right where I lived. It’s a total vibe, but more than that, it’s a necessary PSA: we have to stop being so hard on ourselves.

wearethe_community

This is a PSA!!! Stop being so hard on yourself … written and taught by @Joy Warren performed by #TheCommUnityAtlChoir

♬ original sound - wearethe_community

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This isn't about toxic positivity or pretending that hard things don't hurt. It's about giving ourselves grace because life rarely comes with a playbook.

When my son was diagnosed with autism, I quickly learned there was no play-by-play manual. While there are best practices, autism is uniquely specific to each person. We had to figure it out as we went.

So many of the paths we walk—in parenting, business, career shifts, and personal transitions—don't have a blueprint. We beat ourselves up because we feel like we "should have known," but the truth is, there was no way to know until we walked through it.

Life isn't a test you either pass or fail; it's a series of lessons and learning.

How do we shine a light back into that darkness so shame doesn't consume us?

• Use faith as your baseline: Remind yourself of who you are and whose you are, especially when circumstances feel uncertain.
• Look for micro-lights: You don't need a blinding sun to break the dark. A small moment of gratitude, a quick win, or an honest prayer is enough to light the next step.
• Trade perfection for grace: Acknowledge that you made the best choice you could with the tools, capacity, and information you had in that moment.

You are waking up every day and learning in real time. Stop holding yourself to a standard that requires you to predict the future. Be kind to yourself today.

Talk soon,

LCJ