Being able to vs. Having capacity for...

Hey Reader,

We are trained to measure capability. It is what is rewarded the most in our society. For many of us, including myself, saying yes has gotten me through so many doors.

If you have the skill, the experience, and an open slot on the calendar, the assumption is that the answer should be yes.

Being able to do something and having the capacity for it are two separate things, and most of us only ever check the first one. This is a school of thought I re-visit OFTEN.

Ability is about whether you can do it or not (or make an attempt). Capacity is about whether there is room for it once it lands.People-pleasing lives in that gap.

I am not ashamed to admit I am a recovering people pleaser. We say yes because we know we could make it work, not because we have anywhere to put it.

Look at what you are already carrying in a single day.

Partner. Parent. Daughter (or son 😉). Sibling. Career. Church volunteer. Leader. Friend. The list goes on…

When every one of those is running at full output and nothing is being evaluated, something gives. It is rarely the thing with a deadline attached. It is usually the role you reserve for yourself, your own work, your own rest, the thing nobody else is going to follow up on.

Your capacity is supposed to shift with the season you are in, and so is what each role requires from you. When I was climbing the corporate ladder, my role as mom had to be redefined, and in order to make that work, that meant having my husband be a full-time stay-at-home dad (which he crushed). Today my role with my graduating senior daughter looks like an advisor and mentor. While my role with my 6-year-old son is still hands-on, every single day. Same title, different weight.

Here is the part that gets skipped. Your capacity is going to get spent either way. The only real question is whether you decided where it went.

Honoring an actual limit will sometimes disappoint the person asking. That is a real cost and I am not going to pretend otherwise. It is still cheaper than running on fumes and then handing everyone a worse version of you two weeks later.

As I am in the thick of this hectic season, I am auditing where I pour out, personally, professionally, and spiritually. That includes my own anchors.

The reality is that some seasons my faith anchor is not an in-depth study, it is reading one passage every day. Some seasons my move anchor is not a heavy workout, it is hitting a step goal and calling it done. You get the picture. As the seasons of life change, our roles and rhythm shift, and then our capacity follows.

Scaling the scope to match your real capacity is not giving up. It is what keeps the thing alive long enough to still be there next season.

Today's 5 Daily Anchors: Auditing Your Capacity

Filter today's focus on capacity through your 5 core pillars:

• Faith: Simplify your spiritual discipline today. If a deep study is more than you have, read one verse and sit with it. Ask God what you are carrying that was never assigned to you.
• Move: Match the movement to the energy you actually have. A walk, a step goal, or a few minutes of stretching counts. Skipping it entirely because you could not do the full version does not.
• Build: Go through today's task list and find the one item that is there purely because someone asked. Move it, delegate it, or cut it. Then spend that block on one micro-task that belongs to you.
• Connect: Protect your bandwidth on purpose. Practice one graceful no to a request that exceeds what you have, so you are still present for the people already counting on you.
• Reflect (Journal Prompt): What am I saying yes to right now simply because I am capable of it, and what is it costing the role I keep putting last?

Where is the gap between what you are capable of and what you actually have room for right now? Hit reply and tell me how you are guarding your energy this week.

Talk soon,

LCJ

P.S. If your calendar has been running you lately, write out every role you currently play. All of them, on one page. Most people underestimate the list by half, and you cannot audit what you have never actually counted.